Homosexuality, its effects and Islam

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  الصفحة الرئيسية » Ruqyah Shariah

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Homosexuality, its effects and Islam

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اللواط وآثاره في الإسلام

Homosexuality, its effects and Islam

In this post I would like to talk about what is exactly considered homosexuality in Islam and some of the harmful effects of gay sex and culture. Please read the whole post before making any judgements.

Firstly, I want to clarify that in Islam, what is considered homosexuality and a sin is NOT the feelings of desire towards the same gender, what is considered a sin is having a sexual relationships with the same gender due to its harmful effects which will be explained later in this post. Feeling desire for sinful things such as desiring drinking alcohol, or adultery, or gambling …etc, is not a sin as long as one does not “act” upon the desire. It is the same with gay sex. So if someone feels intimate/sexual desires for the same gender, then they are NOT committing a sin nor are they considered bad as long as they do not have a sexual relationship with them.

Secondly, the talk about homosexuals and “suppressing one’s sexuality” is based on the notion that people are “born” gay, which is something disagreed upon even by scientists and doctors. Through my experience and research, I discovered that many of those who practice sex with the same gender, or have sexual desire towards them, have actually “developed” it, and were not “born” with it. The Quran also implies that homosexuality is not something which is natural like heterosexuality, because Allah (God) said in the Quran that the people of Lot’s approaching of men with desire instead of women is something which no one before them had done (verses 7:80-81). The sexual desire towards the same gender is caused by outside factors and not through genes. I know people who started to developed desire for the same sex in their adulthood due to a certain experience, while not having such desire before, and they never imagined they would ever have sexual desires towards the same gender. Experimenting, one’s environment or social life, upbringing, watching deviant porn, sexual abuse …etc. are things which can cause sexual deviance of any type, including homosexuality, bestiality, incest, sadism …etc to develop. Due to this, Islam commanded that certain things not to be done (even though they don’t seem harmful) to prevent homosexual desire from developing. For example, Islam forbid individuals of the same gender from looking at each other’s private parts, and forbid them from sleeping under the same covering. Other things such as watching any type of porn, and doing sexual abuse is definitely forbidden and obviously a clear sin. And Islam also tells us to keep away from sinful environments and gatherings, and to choose one’s friends well, because it affects a person. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.” (Sahih Muslim).

I know a sister who developed this desire in her early adulthood when she stayed over at a friend’s house and slept with her under one sheet, not thinking anything wrong with it since they are both females and just friends, but later the bare skin of their shins touched unintentionally during sleep (her friend was already asleep) then she started to feel some sexual excitement, which shocked her, and awakened in her this desire. I’ve also met a brother online who had a similar experience that happened to him in his adulthood. But both the brother and sister did not become suicidal or feel sexually suppressed because of this, because they do not believe that a person is “born” homosexual or bi, and they understand the reasons that caused such desire, and they have enough knowledge of Islam to know that their “feelings of desire” are not a sin in itself, and only practicing it is a sin. There is also a young Arab brother who lives in the middle east who wrote a comment in a discussion I had about this topic on youtube and mentioned that he and some of his friends have done homosexual acts with each other in the past for fun and pleasure, but when they became older they quit doing it and repented. There are also those who have spoken about how “experimenting” has made them develop this desire and become addicted to it. And there are boys who became gay due to being sexually abused by men in their childhood or youth.

As for the argument about some animals exhibiting “homosexual” behavior, firstly, the term “homosexual behavior” when applied to animals seems to be much broader than what is considered homosexuality in humans. If two male animals care for or parent a baby, it is considered “homosexual” even if they never mated nor show signs of sexual attraction. If two human male friends who have no sexual desire towards each other and have no sexual relationship with each other, raised a child who was in need care, would they be considered gay? I don’t think so. In the animal world, in some species, the males are the ones who care for the eggs and offspring. Secondly, even though we share many things with the animal kingdom, we are not complete animals. We are rational beings and differ with animals in many things in our way of life. Some animal species practice infanticide and cannibalism, would that mean that it would be a normal acceptable behavior in humans? Some animals were also seen doing what we call “necrophilia”, they were trying to mate with a dead corpse of their own species. That is definitely not something that would be normal nor acceptable among humans. Not every animal behavior is normal or acceptable for humans. Irrational animal behavior cannot be used to determine what is morally acceptable behavior for rational man.

As for some of the harmful effects of homosexual sex, culture and marriage, I will discuss them in several points, after a very short introduction:
From the principles and goals of Islam is the protection of: life, religion, wealth, lineage/offspring, and intellect. Health (mental and/or physical) would be included in 3 of these categories: life, intellect, and lineage. And life includes one’s own life and others lives. Homosexual practice affects at least 2 of these categories which is “life/health” and “lineage/offspring”. Allowing the practice of gay sex openly, accepting it socially, and legalizing it and gay marriage has opened the doors to:

1. “Open relationships”:
Homosexual practice and culture encourages having sex with more than one partner, OR is “open” to it, including in marriage. A big number of gay men are in relationships that are “open”, meaning they have sex with men other than their partner with the approval of their partner. This includes married gays. It might be true that not all gay marriages are “open”, and there are some that are monogamous, but a big number of them are not monogamous, if not the majority. And even those who are monogamous in their marriage, many of them, if not all of them, are “OPEN-minded” or “accepting” of marriage with open relationships, meaning they find it acceptable if two married gays decide to have their relationship an open one where they have sex with other men sometimes. This is considered normal gay culture. Here is one article that discusses this [there are more if you research] : http://www.thedatereport.co dating/modern- love/when- gay-couples-get- married-are- they- monogamous

This is contrary to hetero marriages, which are monogamous. And even though there are many men or women who cheat in marriage and sleep with someone else, it is done in secret, frowned upon, considered sinful/immoral/betrayal/sinful, and is unacceptable in hetero culture, and was not a topic of debate or argument in past history. But now, after gay marriage has become acceptable, and the gay culture has come to the open, and some talking about how the gay culture of accepting “open relationships” in marriage being a “solution” to marriage problems, and claiming that it helps marriage last longer; some heteros have become accepting or “open” to the idea, and even started to practice it! This could spread more in future generations who grow up in such societies, which will have negative consequences on family life and society.

2. Depriving children of one of their basic rights.
The issue regarding giving birth to children in homosexual relationships/marriages: Children who are born into such relationships are not given the choice or right to be with both of their biological parents. Not because one of them is dead or because of divorce or because they were abandoned by them, but because one parent gave precedence to their own desires over the right of the child. Some children might not mind, but there are those who do mind, are affected by it, and suffer emotional problems due to being intentionally deprived from one of their biological parents for the pleasure of the other parent. People talk about the happiness of homosexual partners, but what about the happiness of those affected by this relationships (i.e. children) ? One woman who was raised by her lesbian mother and her partner wrote about her experience and how it affected her: http://thefederalist.com dear-gay-community-your-kids-are-hurting/
This reminded me of a high school girl who was raised by her lesbian mother and her female partner. I saw this girl mention several times that she had no father, she said it in a sad and pitiful way. And when someone tried to ask her for some details about it, she said that she didn’t like talking about it. This made me feel that this issue bothered her enough for her to dislike talking about it. There is also the issue of “open relationships” and having several partners being quite normal in the gay culture and community, as I showed previously. In such households, kids are exposed to things that are harmful to them, it is an unhealthy environment for a child. See these stories as an example: http://cnsnews.com/news/
The difference between hetero parents and homosexual ones is that the problems in hetero families are due to the individuals themselves not getting along and/or ending up in divorce, or due to them being abusive or such, which can also happen in homosexual relationships. But there is an extra problem in homosexual relationships, which is that the child is deprived of one of his/her biological parents due to one of their parents sexual relationship itself, in addition to the widespread culture of open relationships in the gay community even in marriage.

3. Increased spreading of diseases, including deadly ones.
Anal cancer and HIV infections are found in gay men MUCH more than heterosexuals due to gay men practicing anal sex a lot more, even when both have the same number of partners, and that is because the risk of HIV infection is 18 to 20 times higher in anal sex than vagina sex, the same with other STDs. See here about the AIDS epidemic among gays: http://abcnews.go.com/ Also see: http://www.aidsmeds.com/
And men who have sex with men are 17 times more likely to develop anal cancer than heterosexual men. See here: http://www.cdc.gov/
In Islam, one of the great principles is : “There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.” (A saying of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him).
That is why in Islam, all sexual behavior that cause harm to oneself or others is forbidden, including sex out of marriage (fornication/adultery) which often leads to unwanted pregnancies then abortion, or abandoning of the baby, and also the spread of STDs …etc. Also anal sex is totally forbidden in Islam, even with one’s wife, because its harm exceeds its benefits (its benefit only being pleasure for some). Same with alcohol, the Quran (Islam’s holy book) mentions that it has “some” benefits, but its harm exceeds its benefit. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Immorality never appears among a people to such an extent that they commit it openly, but plagues and diseases that were never known among the predecessors will spread among them.” I believe AIDS is an example of a disease not known in past history and is spread by immoral sex more than any other method. If sex with someone, or that is done a certain way, requires “protection” from harm (e.g. through using pills or condemns, which do not guarantee 100% safety), then that sexual behavior should be questionable, because sex should naturally be a healthy thing, and not something that is risky. If a man and woman only had sex in marriage and the natural way (i.e. vagina and not anal), there wouldn’t be health risks. This is one of the reasons why sex outside of marriage for men and women, and gay sex is forbidden in Islam.

People today seem to accept almost any type of sexual method and any partner as long as it gives them pleasure and happiness. Many are even starting to accept incestuous relationships between siblings. And bestiality/zoophilia is legal in some countries and some states. Saying that a person is free to have sex as they please with whomever they please without limits as long as both partners agree, is viewing sex pleasure itself as a goal and purpose in life, so whatever gives you this pleasure then go for it. This way of thinking can cause the downfall of family and society. The consequences that will result from such behavior in the long run should not be overlooked or taken lightly, especially when reversing it and the damage it caused after it spreads will be extremely difficult. The main purpose of sex in nature is reproduction, and pleasure comes with it, and is a benefit. God made sex pleasurable in order for life to continue existing. Imagine if there was no pleasure with sex, then what would make humans practice it? Even those who have desire to have children would do it enough times just to have 1 or 2 children then quit, since there wouldn’t be other benefits from it, and it would not be something desired; and having 1 or 2 children would not help humanity survive especially with many deaths caused by wars, illnesses, starvation, murder, suicide …etc, in addition to some not being able to give birth to children due to health problems. But because sex is pleasurable, people do it often for many many years, increasing the chance of having a good number of children, which helps humanity survive. In Islam, the main purpose of sex is reproduction and the strengthening of the love and bond between the spouses, so pleasure is a major benefit of it and is sought, but it is not the “sole” purpose, for that reason, not just any sexual method that attains pleasure is acceptable, only the safe method (does not cause harm or health risks) is permissible. Again, pleasure is a purpose, but not the “sole” purpose meaning that not all sexual behavior is acceptable just because it results in pleasure.

Another important thing to remember is that desiring something does not make it automatically OK or right to do. Right and wrong is NOT based on the love and desire for something, but other things, including harm and benefit, especially on family life and society as a whole (which in turn effects individuals).

Allah says in the Quran (2:216) : {and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.}

Lastly, someone might say: But whom one loves and feels desire towards is out of their control, are you saying that a person can never have their sexual desires fulfilled just because they are not able to love someone of the opposite gender?

The Answer: This question is based on the idea that a person is “born” gay, which is not proven to be a fact and is disputed. There are homosexuals who thought they only had desire for the same gender, but discovered later after meeting someone of the opposite gender who awakened the love in their heart, that they can have desire for the opposite gender. Many who say they are homosexual assumed they were homosexual based on some particular experience or due to circumstances, then later something happens that makes them feel attraction towards the opposite sex and they become confused. This is the result of the spreading of the belief that there are people who are born homosexual, and children being raised to believe such. So if a young person’s first experience with sexual desire was directed to the same gender for some reason and they haven’t met any girl that attracted them, they tend to assume they are homosexual and have attraction only towards their gender, and live thinking so. There are even those who claim they were gay since they were 5 or 8 years old, how does a 5 year old know they are gay when they don’t even have sexual desire nor know what sex is?! And some very young children confuse their love and strong attachment to a person of the same gender with homosexuality because they don’t have the correct understanding of what homosexuality is. They hear about “love for someone of the same sex” so they think it means the love they feel towards someone who is not a family member that resulted from strong admiration or the extra attention and care they got from the person, without knowing that it is related to sexual attraction, and not just love without sexual attraction and desire. See this man’s story as an example for someone who assumed he was gay but in reality he wasn’t : http://www.theguardian.com/ lifeandstyle/2013/jul/21/ gay-man- attracted-to-women Due to this fact, and the belief that homosexual desires are developed and not a gene, I believe that all who think they are homosexuals are actually bi-sexual, and that no one is really homosexual, even though they think they are. They just need to change their environment or social life and relationships, and meet the right person to help them realize that they can have a good sexual relationship with the opposite gender (in marriage).


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